Yeah, what she said…

Clever or sad, I’m not really sure.  But it’s got the parents talking!

“What are batteries?”

Evelyn Towry, an 8 year old child, was arrested and charged with battery last week.  On paper her crime is listed as beating on school staff.  But let’s tell it like it really is, her real crime is being a child with Asperger’s Syndrome, an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and an ignorant society.  The incident a result of lack of understanding, compassion and tolerance, and not on Evelyn’s behalf.  In my opinion, the staff and police officers involved should be arrested and charged for child abuse and using undue force, respectively.  Because being physically restrained, arrested and taken to jail has to be traumatic for an 8 year old, who does not know what she did wrong.  And to think this whole thing started over a child’s favourite cow hoodie, with ears and a tail.

There are a couple of things about this incident that alarm me.  I have enough personal and professional experience to know that interacting with children with Autism is not always easy.  I’ve learned that you really have to pick your battles.  You have to weigh the intention with the possible behavioural reaction.  Some things, such as the safety of the child and others, are worth the outburst which may result.  Telling a child she can’t wear her favourite sweater and would have to be separated from her friends and fellow classmates during a Christmas party is not a battle worth fighting.  Especially when you do not have the skills to cope with such reactions.  That’s not to say that these children should get away with things that other children don’t.  I just think people need to be more aware that children with Autism can have major outbursts in reaction to disruptions to their daily pattern, and sometimes these can be violent.  Unless, you know how to diffuse the situation, don’t wage a senseless war over a childish shirt.

The lack of understanding, for me, is one of the most frustrating things about this and similar episodes.  I am very critical of school systems and it’s pre-occupation with the mainstream.  What is mainstream?  Every student in every school in the world is unique in one way or another.  They learn in different ways.  They learn at different speeds.  They are interested in different subjects.  Mainstream teaching does not cut it.  So why do we let teachers graduate from university with mainstream skills.  If the staff at Evelyn’s school had known more about Asperger’s Syndrome and the Autism Spectrum, they would have known not to restrain her.  They would have known that personal contact would have likely resulted in some sort of behavioural outburst, because of a tactile defensiveness.  Things did not have to turn violent.  Evelyn was likely experiencing the basic human instinct of ‘fight or flight’ and was doing anything to leave the environment she felt threatened in.  We all have this instinct.  Evelyn should not have been arrested because she’s human, doing a human thing, during a perceived threat.  Furthermore, how violent can an unarmed 54 lb, 8 year old get?  Calling the police and having her arrested should not be on the list of acceptable resolution to escalating behaviour.

This brings me to the most outrageous side of this story.  The fact that the school’s staff and Evelyn’s medical professionals felt this was an accepted form of intervention is unbelievable!  One news report states that this was accepted protocol decided upon earlier by the school and Evelyn’s mental health officials.  How is this ok?  How can such a thing be viewed as a positive resolution?  It is unacceptable and more parents should be outraged!  Not just parents of children with autism.  The fact that not one adult in this while ordeal felt the need to say, “No, this is wrong!” speaks volumes about the state of our society.  A common theory or perception of Autism and it’s related disorders is that these children live in a ‘world of their own’.   We haven’t found a cure for Autism, so why do we insist that they live in ‘our world’?  Why can’t we learn to live in theirs, learn to interact with them in a way they understand and are comfortable with?  Quite frankly, with stories like these, this world would not be my first choice.

The ’free world’ may be on the eve of celebrating a historical milestone with the election of the first African-American US President.   But we have a long way to go yet, before we are truly free.

Eight. Years. Old.

Stuff like this makes me extremely angry!  I’m sick and I’m outraged, so I couldn’t possibly write anything remotely coherent at the moment.  But rest assured I have a lot to say about this issue….

Circus

How in the world am I supposed to choreograph a show number for an 8 year old to this?? I know 8 is the new 14, but come on!!

Sam-I-Am

It’s the little things that matter.  Not home renovations, big screen TVs or fancy touch screen cell phones.  I was reminded of that today, by the most innocent of gift givers.  Alec is a four year child I’ve been working with for the last year.  He calls me En-da and has since the day I met him.

Today, I was sitting in my office, it was eerily quiet because I was the only one in.  I was preparing for my session with Alec, when all of sudden I heard the squeak of wet rubber boots and a familiar voice calling, “En-da!  En-da!” in two clear distinct syllables.

I rushed out to see what the commotion was.  I was greeted with a smiling Alec pushing a beautifully wrapped gift towards me.  He insisted I opened it ASAP.  So him and I sat down on the couch and I began unwrapping.  I insisted he help.  He showed me how best to open the present. 

The gift was a book.  A Dr. Seuss book, Green and Eggs and Ham.  As I sat there, feeling overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness of this particular gift, Alec’s mom began telling me the story behind the book.  She said he spied it at Wal-Mart and he was determined to have it so he could give it to me.  She asked him why.  And Alec told her that I told him it was my favourite book.  She bought it and he couldn’t wait to bring it to me.

I shared that tidbit with Alec over a year ago, the very first time I met him.  He was shy and wearing a Cat in the Hat sweater.  I told him I had a collection of Dr. Seuss books as a child and my favourite was Green Eggs and Ham.  In particular, I have fond memories of my mom reading it to me night after night.

The fact that Alec remembered this is especially moving, and my new book will sit proudly in my bookshelf.